The Importance of Undergoing Our Hero’s Journey for Mental Health

originally written March 2024

the r e t u r n to Sydney, the end of a 9-year mythical quest & a w h o l e new world

[+ the importance of undergoing the heroes journey for mental health]

Here I am, back in Sydney.

Here I am, back where I burned my life down 9 years ago after becoming severely disillusioned with modern day psychology and our social care systems.

Here I am, back where I began my grand adventure, determined to uncover a new way to genuinely support the mental health of the humans I worked with.

Here I am.

Starting over.

Starting again.

Starting w h o l e.

After dedicating myself to publicly sharing the rawest insights from my journey over the last decade, this last chapter has been for me - and me alone.

The last few months of 2023 leading up to my move back to Sydney were the most challenging, most dark, and most deeply s a c r e d of the entire 9 years.

This passageway required me to apply all of the lessons and skills I had developed along the way...

In the face of burnout, I was asked to heal myself and trust in my body.

In the face of suffocating self-doubt, I was asked to break through the limitations of my mind and trust in life.

In the face of heartache, I was asked to keep my heart open and no matter what, trust in love.

It was mythical.

It was initiatory.

It was brutal.

And I’m so grateful. 🥹

It was everything I needed.

Everything I prayed for.

Yet nothing what I had expected.

I received the final pieces required to complete the puzzle I have been working on for 9 years…

The final puzzle pieces which allowed for the grand re-union of my perceived seperate parts of my psyche into a felt sense of wholeness.

The final puzzle pieces which fulfilled my understanding of “Open-Hearted Psychology” and its purpose in the world.

It was actually 9 years ago when I left Sydney that I serendipitously stumbled upon the “Hero’s Journey’ concept.

Understanding how mental health (and illness) maps onto the psychological adventure of the “Heroes Journey” (Joseph Campbell) has been at the core of my work in developing OHP over the last decade.

But it wasn’t something I could learn via a textbook.

I was asked to live and breathe it.

I was initiated into the healing arts, my mystical gifts as a modern-day practitioner, and psychology (in a way my psychology degree never taught me).

I was asked to undertake my own journey into the underworld of my psyche, in order to uncover this “new way” I had been so desperately seeking.

I had to be willing to lose my mind (and dance with the absurd) to follow my heart.

As John Breeding PhD writes in his article ‘The Danger of Refusing The Call of The Heroes Journey’ -

“Madness and unproductivity are necessary ingredients of deep change, yet they are discouraged and often punished in our society, very often with labels and psychiatric drugs.”

He also writes about the fruitfulness of embarking on the heroes journey with full support - not just for the mental wellness of the hero but for the benefit of the community.

The hero brings something back to society which is a greater contribution than they could have made without having taking their journey.

Since returning to Sydney and planning for the next 10 years…

I have been reflecting on what I am “bringing back” to contribute to society in a new way.

This led me full circle in reflecting on the very foundations of my work —-

My signature True-Self Transformation program:

Wildly-Authentic Superheroes.

I built out this program based on principles from

the heroes journey and drawing from over a decade of study and experience in psychology, mental health and complex trauma.

It unites the soul and science of psychology to help people break free from their minds, open their hearts and transform their lives.

For the better part of a decade now, I have coached and mentored clients through my Wildly-Authentic Superheroes program to help free themselves of low self-worth, general lack of fulfilment in life, and mental health diagnoses which they had never found true support for.

It is tried and tested, and much-adored.

To this day, I still have past clients reach out to thank me for this program…

For the impact it has had on them, and on their family and intimate relationships.

This is the program that has stood the test of time.

Today, I still see people struggling with the impact of a) not undergoing their heroes journey due to fear or social constraints or b) stuck in the darkness of their heroes journey, unable to integrate back into society.

In both cases, mental health is impacted.

I also see ongoing problems with the way our mental health system is structured; the over-focus on clinical intervention over community intervention, the over-pathologising, the limits of talk based therapy, the misuse of power within the industry at large, the challenges matching with a psychologist, the length of time on a waitlist, the lack of support whilst on waitlist… (I could go on).

I’ve deliberately taken time away from society over the last 9 years to truly contemplate these issues, and to test out different models and possibilities.

Over the past few months I’ve taken stock of what I’ve learnt and the problems I still see people facing, and how I can be of greatest service moving forward.

The truth is, I truly believe there is a soul-deep process for healing, inner-freedom and peace more intricate and profound than any instructions provided to us in a psychological textbook.

This is the stunning perfection of trusting Life as our greatest teacher,

of trusting the archetypal path of evolution our soul yearns to take,

of daring to undergo the psychological initiation into the “underworld” that our personal legend calls for.

This is what I wish for everyone who is forever struggling to make sense of themselves or where they fit…

Or is struggling with mental anguish, or anxiety, or burnout or a general lack of fulfilment living inside this socially-oppressive, capitalist, consumerist world…

I wish for us to have the support, education and resources to undergo the personal adventure of a lifetime —

The adventure of knowing our own soul;

Of expressing who we truly are in this lifetime.

My 9 year journey has taught me more about myself, healing and reality creation than my psychology degree ever did -

And yet I’m aware it was my professional experience and love for psychology that helped me navigate each ego-destructive, soulful step….

And innovate a new vision for psychology along the way.

Because of this all, I knew I had to explore a new long-term, sustainable way to share Wildly-Authentic Superheroes (level 1 Open-Hearted Psychology) with those too who are seeking deeper answers as I once was.

I’m excited to say that this new way is finally here.

Although the journey has felt intense and harrowing at times -

I would not change it.

I could not have ignored the call and stayed the same.

No Wildly-Authentic Superhero truly can…

The Wildly-Authentic Superhero knows deep down they must bravely run into the unknown.

They must listen to their heart as matter of life and death.

They must choose a life of truth over fear.

They must choose to truly know Love above all else…

Because at the end of the day…

All else will fade and all that will remain is the evidence of how much we truly loved.

Here’s to this wild, wild adventure called life, and the Wildly-Authentic Superhero inside all of us ♥️

WILD-Authenticity (noun); a way-of-being in which one displays raw and untamed courage in embracing and expressing their Truest Self, heart’s desires and intuitive calling for aliveness.

Wildly-Authentic Superheroes

Wildly-Authentic Superheroes is Tessa's flagship identity-work program within the Institute. The program unites Tessa's 15+ years of experience across worlds of psychology, health, coaching, creativity, spirituality and social work to deliver an unforgettable experience to participants to help them break free from their minds, open their hearts and transform their lives.

Please note: This program is no longer available as a stand alone offering. It is now offered as a self-paced option with community calls facilitated by Tessa as part of the 12-Month Open-Hearted Membership (available July 2025). It will also be offered as foundational education in The True-Self Expression Clinic (opening July 2025) where you will be supported 1:1 by a trained OHP Mentor.

Join the waitlist for Open-Hearted Here or The True-Self Expression Clinic Here.

Why “Letting Go” Is A Fallacy

(… and is keeping you in unnecessary loops of powerlessness 🤦🏼‍♀️)

The next time you are told to just “let it go” - please stop and take a breath.

The next time you hear yourself paraphrasing some jazzed-up insta meme to your friend “I’m just like, totally, gunna let it go, you know” - please stop and take a breath.

The next time you find yourself spiralling, berating yourself for being a failure, for not being able to “let go” of it/him/her/them/the thing/the situation/the memory/the relationship faster, better, more effectively - please stop and take a breath.

Please, just stop. Breathe.

Things you can actually let go of as a human:

- A dog lead whilst walking your dog

- An employee

- The rope in tug of war

Things you can not simply ‘let go’ of because a meme or personal development coach told you to:

- Suppressed emotion, trust issues and unworthiness causing the underlying core beliefs that are actually driving you to feel you need to ‘let go’ of XYZ (ie. your ex, that situation at work, that repeating pattern of self-sabotage of yours, your family member doing that thing again).

- Unresolved trauma that has shaped your nervous system into habits, behaviours, actions from self-protection, which are now likely causing a physiological *addiction* to the XYZ or pattern of XYZ which you wish to simply ‘let go’

- Attachment to the identity of who you are in relation to the relationship/situation/thing you wish to “let go” of

- Fear of who you will become on the other side of letting go of XYZ; fear about whether you will be safe, whether you will give away too much of your *power*, or whether it will be *too much* power for you to know what to do with

- Negative energy patterning causing the distortion in your field keeping you in a left-brain loop of fear-based rationality, parading as your identity

And the true energy-workers amongst us know. We know when you’ve said ‘yep I don’t need to work on that, I’ve let that go’ when you actually haven’t. We are highly-attuned to the incongruence in your field. We see it, we feel it, we sense it.

Here’s the thing.

We are energy (duh... we’re all across that by now, yeah?)

Chemistry 101:

No energy can be created or destroyed;

Only *transformed*

Thus, the concept of “letting go” in the realm of healing/thriving/evolving/living/loving is a fallacy.

If a professional is trying to sell you this **Without** The Emotional-Alchemy Frameworks + Tools to support you in understanding how to TRANSFORM the energy at the root of the person/pattern/situation/belief you wish to ‘let go’ -

I invite you to,

Please stop and take a breath -

And

back

away

slowly.

I mean, sprint the hell away if you want to.

If you have ALREADY been sold this idea and are sick of beating yourself up for being a failure of a human; for not having ‘let go’ of XYZ better.. for repeating cycles.. for knowing you wish to be *THERE* (which is usually not a destination of course rather YOU in your full power) but so frustrated at yourself because you keep looping around *HERE* (in your powerlessness, unhelpful patterns, and inner-war)...

Please know there is nothing wrong with you.

You have not failed.

You are not powerless.

Now you get to make a choice with this new awareness of how you will respond moving forward.

Similarly if you are a counsellor/coach/leader, utilising this phrase in your work *without providing the necessary emotional-alchemy training* no need to berate yourself. No doubt you’ve done the best you could with what you knew. It is time to get honest with yourself about the limitations of your practices, and source the *true* training you require to be of highest service to your clients/students/people.

So...

Let go of the dog lead, yes.

Let go of unresolved emotions without *TRUE* mastery or guidance in emotional-alchemy, no.

Just, no.

Originally written and published 12/01/2021

I Am A Better Therapist Because Of Him

I am a better therapist because of him.

I am a better human because of him.

That I know.

I am better at being all of me because of him, and better at helping people be all of them because of him.

I knew psychology before I met him.

But I did not know love.

I did not know True Love.

I did not know the type of love that burns you alive with divine madness and ecstatically stirs you from your deep human slumber into holy awakening.

I did not know the type of love that could strip me naked without taking my clothes off.

And yet, I asked.

I had asked for this love.

I had asked if True Love was real.

I had yearned for a depth, a magnetism, a remembrance of what is true and sacred in this world.

And he arrived.

For 8 years, we have adored and hated each other.

Insatiable intrigue, desperate craving, anxious avoidance, too-confronting-intimacy, emotional-outbursts.

At the core…

Soul-deep yearning.

An initiation into Truth.

An activation of my Intuition and Psychic Gifts.

A purification of all that is not Love.. into our essence of Love.

A messy human journey of Integrity.

A journey which nearly teared us apart - hating the reflection of ourselves we saw in each other.

A journey which we had to learn skills for in order to navigate the profound depths of a connection which we’d never experienced before.. a connection which refused to fit into any box or sane explanation.

A journey which asked us to decipher and decode.. to work out how all the pieces of reality and love and emotions fit together.

A journey which consistently requires us to take full responsibility for every aspect of our lives and confront all aspects of our self not in alignment in Truth, Love, Integrity.

A journey which begged for us to mature; to unite our gifts of Empathy and Rationality (head and heart), to learn how to communicate open-heartedly, to normalise holding this amount of overwhelming love and desire in our bodies in everyday reality - a new reality founded on True Love and not the illusions of separation, fear and unworthiness.

A journey which demanded deep self-honesty, and honesty with each other - to let ourselves be seen in all our humanness and magnificence, to let ourselves be met and loved by each other exactly as we are.. as well as holding each other accountable for the truest version of them, always.

A journey which burned down the psychic infrastructure of attachment, addiction, distrust, avoidance within our consciousness so we could rebirth, regenerate, and cultivate an environment of freedom, trust and openness for this love to grow.

Inescapable mirrors, reflecting opposing gifts and wounds of each other.

A mysterious adventure.

An adventure of Unity - of understanding oneness to my very core, beyond instagram memes or scientific discoveries of inter-connectedness, a unified field of consciousness and quantum entanglement.

An adventure which birthed an entire body of work - uniting Psychology and True Love, art and science, empathy and rationality, modern-day and ancient, material and spiritual - already responsible for supporting hundreds (thousands?) of people understanding themselves more, living from their hearts, and embodying the frequency of love and unity as a messy, magnificent human here on Earth.

An adventure which has inspired ripples of love on this planet.

An adventure which opened my heart and taught me how to stabilise my open-heartedness as a way of being, as a therapeutic tool, as an entire vision for humanity.

This love, supporting me to be the Renaissance woman, the modern-day ancient shaman of a therapist, the visionary I am here to be in this lifetime.

This love, an endless inspiration, an eternal gift, my infinite muse for all I be, create, do.

This love, my favourite love story to live, to lose myself in, to find myself all over again.

This love.

…

Jan 2021

Her: I was wondering if you can fall in love with someone you’re already in love with.

Him: You definitely can.

Her: That’s what it feels like.. to me.

Him: .. And me.

“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere, they’re in each other all along.” - Rumi

The Maturity in Heartbreak: when we allow our heart to “break” to crack open with more love

I’m a woman who doesn’t believe hearts break…

Yet feels like her heart is breaking.

Breaking,

cracking,

shattering open.

Heartache is such a deep, wrenching, visceral pain.

I think a part of me knew this was coming.

For weeks, maybe more.

My body has been holding the tension,

feeling depleted and on edge,

as I’ve been watching aspects of my life crumble around me,

sensing I was being guided to a deeper alignment,

understanding everything not in congruence with the bigness of the vision must fall away,

contracting whilst all the ways I’ve been not owning my power or worth or integrity have been spotlighted on centre stage,

trusting that any ways I’ve been putting conditions on love for myself or others or how I’m loved can no longer remain if I’m to move forward.. and be the person I’m here to be… and lead a new paradigm in open-hearted ness that I’m here to lead.

The soul is wise,

the heart is strong,

yet my human hurts.

There is a man who exists on this planet who has been my greatest mirror and teacher of love.

For 8 years we’ve triggered each’s others deepest wounds and activated each other’s potential.

I wouldn’t know love, and I wouldn’t know my true self, without him -

For we cannot fully know thy self without the reflection of another.

I spoke about him at the very end of Unspoken Sydney, to share my gratitude.

Everything I’ve created in the last 8 years, and everyone I’ve helped, has been a result of us.

I know I couldn’t have evolved to *here* without him pushing me, provoking me, and loving me.

Our connection shows me where I’m not loving or respecting myself -

where my heart is closed with fear.

I use this information to then confront my limitations and break free,

to break open,

to illuminate my own shadows and transform them back to love.

Sometimes this looks like falling apart first; like feeling sad and angry and alone… like my life is disintegrating, combusting, exploding.

In the past in these times, I would project my pain onto him. I would blame him, and scream and tantrum.

I realised today there is a maturity in my heart break now.

I’ve experienced it enough times over 8 years to now realise that it is never my heart that truly breaks.

It is only my ego; my attachments, my expectations, my perceptions…

It is only uncomfortable because it is deeply confronting to see yourself so deeply… to see your potential and to see your limitations so clearly.

Everytime I have run from him in the past; I found out I was only ever running from me.

Everytime I felt we were ending things or “breaking up”, I found out I was only ever breaking up with an aspect of myself I have outgrown.

Everytime I felt my heart was too broken to ever trust love again, I found even greater depths of love for myself and others -

I found the infinite source of love that exists within me…

I found new levels of strength and power within me…

I found new levels of faith and softness within me…

I learnt over time:

I have the power to transform

shattered fragments of pain and illusion,

into stunning pieces of art;

and instead of being hurt

by my own jagged limitations,

I can alchemise them into love -

and shine from the inside out.

“The wound is where the light is.” - Rumi